Nyreen, whee!
Started paing Nyreen. Just sponging high and low atm though there is a little purple on the…
Testing from my phone
Check this stuff out, woven silver vinyl? It’s on a woven back though…. But I have 2 options to…
Nervous!
Just booked to see my specialist. I may be eligible for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rituximab
Yeah, kinda scary reading but so too is the page on RA anywayBut I’ll know in probably three weeks? I see my specialist the first week of August and it usually…
And some favourite screenies…
I forgot how to gun:
Why yes, yes I do have a big gun. Thanks for noticing.
Yeahhhhhh…..
I can draw at least :)
So cutting the templates for Shae was harder than it needed to be and I was almost in tears. It is ready to glue together now though and the effort should be worth it.
So after a break I started testing the paper patterns for my Blood Dragon. No, I’m not yet ready to cut the foam base. But I do now have all the armour roughly patterned. Except the helmet. I kind of like how my Lizzie Shep looked with her tiny ponytail and no helmet in cut scenes 🙂
A mix of printer paper, cartridge and baking paper. So yes, it will all need to be transferred. Hpwever my walls are horrible so I need to buy enough card to cover it as well as transfer patterns to.
Why it hurts
Because people still only extrapolate from their own experiences of pain.
I have deformities of the wrist. Severe. In fact looking at books on hand surgery I really should have had them “fixed” in 2009. That was my last xray and it showed some major changes. Like total loss of one bone and another literally half eaten away.
Okay, so that makes sense. It’s gonna hurt like grinding glass into those joints. But that is my every day experience. My at rest maybe typing a little on the ‘net. Wen I do stuff that grinding pain is something I long for. You see those specific bones that are gone mean that my ulnar now sits on top of my hand- about stage 4 of a five stage process. Try this. Rotate your wrist so that the uldnar and radius are paralle to each other- you should have your elbow about waist level and hand up palm facing you. Now try twisting further that way using your hand. Try the popposite- where the bones are alredy twisted (palm facing out) Feel that pain down the bone? Worried you are going to pop your wrist? Welcome to my every day reality. It’s not just a sensation of that, it very really is that.
I can’t straigten my elbows because of this either and I cannot wear splints because the deformity is so great the just put pressure on the end of bone sticking up on top of my hand and pushes it further in the mess of bone bits. I have to alternate wearing and not wearing bandages as support too as they sometimes help and sometimes make things worse. And there is very little notice leading up to it.
I have to walk with my hands and elbows in cross arm formation in case someone even brushes my hand as they walk by as waves of fire will shoot up my arm and I will scream and people will think I’m over reacting.
I broke my toes one. Through the joint, sheered half the joint right off. I thought it was just my RA. That is how paintful it can be.
And it will not get better. There is no getting better. I do not need false hope, once you have lost a bone you don’t get it back. This is not just pain- neurons firing signals- this is full on destruction. Everything makes it worse. Everything. I have lie with my arms crossed “mummy” style or risk not just pain but inability to use my hands for weeks or possibly do more permanent damage.
Even other chonic pain sufferers don’t get just how bad this is. No, getting something finished doesn’t feel great. It is just a relief that I don’t have to do it again. No matter how much fun a task is it does damage.
The “fix” Is to chop of more bone and put a metal rod in (pretty sure my regional health board doesn’t have the fancy equipment to have a range of options) and those rods fail often. So the “fix” means I can’t bend my wrists, could potentially crush my hands if I fall or lose my hands entirely given the high risk of bone infection. So no.
And some favourite screenies…
I forgot how to gun:
Why yes, yes I do have a big gun. Thanks for noticing.
Yeahhhhhh…..
I can draw at least 🙂
So cutting the templates for Shae was harder than it needed to be and I was almost in tears. It is…
Why it hurts
Because people still only extrapolate from their own experiences of pain.
I have deformities of the wrist. Severe. In fact looking at books on hand surgery I really should have had them “fixed” in 2009. That was my last xray and it showed some major…
@MASSEFFECT FEELZ!!!!!
So yeah. I was locked out of a lot of choices because I am that internet meme (I have no idea what I’m doing) but I can at least say Lizzie Shep may not have made all the best choices but they felt right. Next time. All the renegade! Maybe. Probably not. But I managed most of it spoiler free (except I knew about the ending) so now I can use a guide and make better choices 😉
Meanwhile I have cut that test pattern for the arm and leg armour. Legs are too big (but feet itty bitty and I have itty bitty feet as it is) and arms too small. But it is all good. Because I just wanted a guide and to test what I could do with the pattern. Anyway. I hope I am able to cut foam tomorrow. I don’t think I can sew for a while but I’d like to also get to work on Nyreen. My hands though may not be up to cutting and I’m not sure it’s possible o be fixed with an injection. Sigh.
I did order some more white ink so I should be able to start painting my mask at least 🙂