I wish I could sleep…

When people ask why don’t you just relax and meditate or count (even just numbers) because this. Some of us just have our brains switched to go all the damn time.

It makes for great productivity and problem solving because your brain can think in three directions at once, but also pants for playing chess where you can think of so many moves ahead and then give up because none seem to be better than any other because you don’t know what your partner is thinking.

It takes me a good 3-4km of a walk to get my brain tired enough to calm down if I am upset and that’s down to physically tiring the body enough to get different chemicals saturating the brain.

And that same walk will then keep me awake.

Add to that chronic pain and I have a special routine to help me sleep. Two pillows form a very narrow V then one more over the top. I am then safely wedged in place if I turn to the side and my neck is fully supported. And lying on my back I have arm support to help keep my shoulders from hunching forward.

And then I watch TED talks on dinosaurs and bees and generally things I already know with speakers I know so I can be lulled to sleep. Their voices do the job of filling in the silence that my brain usually wants to do.

So during the day? I like noise as well for the same reason. I only like real “silence” if I am out appreciating the wonder of nature so I can hear the wind and the water and the birds and the little crawling things in the grass. Otherwise my ears shift to picking up every electical hum and I get headaches.

So a peep into my crazy brain, I am Leonard of Quirm. 

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