life with disability/illness

fatigue

Having constant fatigue is like driving without a fuel gauge.

You can often make calculations to make sure you don’t get into trouble. But in order to do that you need to make calculations constantly- fuel in fuel out is not always a simple measure of how far you go but also about conditions and even waiting/resting uses fuel.

You can make all the best choices but you have to remember everything you do and don’t do.¬†You have to continually check maintenance of everything else to make sure your understanding of fuel use is accurate.

You keep yourself checking for warning signs of getting too low, and sometimes you manage to catch that and sometimes you don’t. If you are lucky you can get to where you need. But you also really dislike calling in emergency services because you know you’ll be told you should have known.

And your disease uses up fuel just by being active. The exact amount varies but it’s also not really been quantified. And it’s not just energy that’s used up, bone is dismantled and absorbed faster than it is laid down.

So yeah. Currently I’m in the I think I have the balance right.