So sorry CMS weirdness means my posts for the last few months get cross-posted (previews anyway) but my post itself not showing up on my own site? What? (Thank you to those who ask if me and my sites are okay, it’s really appreciated.)

I wish I had the money to throw at a host to do all of this work it’s honestly finally cheap enough that it’s an option for new builds. I’ve had my web presence entirely to pass on my research, share the research of others and to generally pay it forward.

Anyway. My issue in my early-mid years was in low resolution heavily curated books that were Anglo-Franco centric and the need to get to the physical library.

Now? The efforts to prevent digitisation and offering previews is what’s a barrier combined with how do you get to a digital archive when search engines refuse to show you the results?

So yes, please let me know if my site isn’t showing up, my public profiles are public for a reason.

And yes, I have a fairly large update coming but this testing my site and shuffling around and protecting a steroid injection to be able to walk has taken up a lot of my time. I thought I’d protected my injection well, but I’m feeling the effects of a needle going a few times each side of my tendon. I also forgot how painful they are.

But for a day I felt so good….

It’s the boiled frog metaphor.

Pain that accumulates can be very hard to accept as pain. You tell yourself it’s your fault, you’re not working hard enough.

So when it was safe to put weight on my foot I got carried away and, walked around the house, washed some fabric and then crashed again today.

It’s not okay, but like realising my RA in general is doing weird stuff, and that my fibro was not controlled enough? Narratives about chronic pain are so powerful that even with 20 years of experience it’s easy to blame yourself.

And that’s another reason I have my site. I want people who tend to do this too to brush some of that off their own shoulders, not because *I* try to, but because yes, this is what we tend to do. And I want all of us to have our best chances.