My word. No words for so long. I’m absolutely not managing to even keep up with health. Health, then responsibilities, mean I’ve been been overly stressful for months and it’s leaking out in all kinds of ways. But nothing cathartic.
Each time I think I have a handle on managing my exposure to stress it is cut away. Everything I am stressed about is very real, very much about what I cannot control. But I have to know.
I do indeed have to weigh risk factors for everything. I tend to have some kind of infection at any one time. Interestingly I have so far avoided them this year. Well I have been isolating more than usual, so there is that.
But it means I have no time left to Do. And it’s an important part of mental health to have that.
I find the kind of art I do is very stressful anyway. I used to love to sketch and paint and that is where I let out a lot of emotional stuff. I think a massive canvas and room to fling paint would be very useful right now.
But costuming? The only part I find relaxing is draping. So much bliss. But I have run out of draping fabric and so I’m left with cutting my actual fabric and oh wow. Stress distracts at this point and so I wind either making mistakes or assuming I’ll maks mistakes which means I try to keep extra and extra extra seam allowances. That eats into fabric alloted and I have also run out of funds to buy the ~100m of cotton cording I need for my main replica costume project right now.
It’s really just the bottom end of a cascade of everything but it means I have kind of run out of a lot of Go.