He is being eaten by cancer, literally. He has a mass the size of a human fist in his intestines. It's so big and developed so fast his little body has gone from a very strapping musclular 7kg to 6kg, a lot of which is this mass.
There is nothing to be done given how fast it is growing, so there is very lttle question of what could have been and what we can do,
I'm going to have only a few hours or days left with him so before he comes home I am taking the time to mourn and cry so that when I see him I will just be full of love, because he deservs that.
He has been as much a service animal as a pet and is a belobed family memeber, he deserves to know that in the time we have left. Which may be a day it may be a few days but he is not going without some shared.
I am curnently ugly crying and howling so he doesn't have to this this and just feels safe. I will also then be able to get some beautiful photos with him so this time can be remembered as a blessing, and not just pain.