limited time

Been a bit quiet. Everything takes a long time with my disability so I wind up a bit behind when I try to do a few things!

My new site is a bit on hold while I decide on future proofing, my book is on hold because it might require an entire restart of images! and my frocks are on hold because I’m just tired and overwhelmed.I do though have a lot to get started which is nice.

Fibro also makes things a bit slower too because it seems to set off muscle twitches and spasms and sometimes it will be a day sometimes it will settle in for a few days. And I can re-set it off again a day later by pushing that little bit further.

Which I did today.

On Thursday my friend came over to help me play SWTOR (it’s Saturday afternoon here as I type.) I need in person help on that, unfortunately, as it’s been points where it’s a forced solo mission but not scaled for story (apparently the other modes are all okay?) And though gaming is something most people do to relax for me it’s a full body activity and so not only do I need to pace for my hands I also need to pace for all the muscles in my torso holding myself upright and also keep my arms in place to take as much strain from my hands as possible.

I wound up with the same kind of cramping and twitching and spasms as I get when I am out travelling. But I was hydrated, had electrolytes, so I really can’t call that anything other than having a very definite upper limit of activity before I go splat. It’s not anxiety (panic attack) it’s not linked to hydration/food, it seems to be linked directly to length of time either walking, or sitting, or any other activity that involves half or full body immersion.

And that really is tough. It is well short of targeted ideas of physical activity. And it’s also rather short of any level of activity that builds stamina, muscle etc..

So while I know this, and I have lived with limits for a long time, and shifting limits at that. This is now very marked. I essentially need to treat one full day as two. I need my midday rest but it can feel forced or at times do the opposite of what I need.

To summarise, It’s probably a good idea for me to really train myself to divide my day into two and treat each as having a warm up, middle, and cool down. And I need to do a little a lot and accept that what used to take me a week now takes 6 months.

Ugh. I wish I was kidding.