Foam!! OMG!!!!!

That makes 2! Two foam mats I have ever seen in Auckland! And they are MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!) I have no idea what to make from them though. My uber silly pink space armour or make a custom Female Turian with my own take on one of the in game armours. So slowly playing ME3 on story mode (hush, it hurts enough as it is to move the mouse- and yes I do go “awwwww nuts” when the bosses go down so easily) and gathering Ideas ™ on what to make.
I haven’t used foam mats before but knowing Jane of Evil FX, http://bioweapons.wordpress.com/ I know it can work well and what the pros and cons are. I just need to decide what to use the precious resource will go to. And do I go ahead and do this as a dry run and use patterns available or nut it out and do my own. If may be a total snob when it comes to my own work I am not about others but even so I have not used a pattern in more than 20 years. For me it feels like cheating. Or rather worse actually that my disease has taken yet another ability away.
I simply do not have the physical ability to do the amount of work I want to in my projects and it is very hard to accept. Very very hard, because unless you are in the same situation of actually having your body break down (not just in pain- I’ve been avoiding wrist fusion for years simply because I have no insurance) it’s hard to really comprehend. I don’t mention how hard it is to dress each day or brush my teeth, Or how much mental and physical effort it takes to move the blankets in order to even get out of bed.

Seeing anything related to the theatre makes my heart skip a beat and I have to take a deep breath to not think about how much I have lost. You can only keep focusing on what you have left when you have thing left to focus on. And then those few things you take pride in get called “trying too hard” or ridiculous or otherwise unworthy takes a lot of effort to ignore. Effort that could otherwise be spent on brushing hair and feeling good about the sun coming up each day.

Sorry, I’m currently skirting a small spot of depression and yet still finding small things to be happy about. But my focus drifts between the two.